Cease striving and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10a
Despite my chronic illness, I would be considered by many to
still be high functioning and unless one knows me, they would be unlikely to
recognize my limitations. I have learned
over time that when I yield to the needs of my body for rest and watch what I
eat, I can function somewhat normally; that said I still struggle. It’s a
challenge not to worry about the cost of my illness both financially and as a source
of stress to myself, my family and close friends. I also struggle to maintain some sense of
control; if I can’t fix my illness than I try to fix other things that don’t
matter in the larger scale as they provide some sense of reassurance that
things are ok. I also struggle with my
self-image. Physically I want to appear
normal yet not so normal that people think I’m a hypochondriac. It’s a common struggle for those of us with
invisible illnesses. Further, I want to
be relevant and useful, but feel that is regularly not the case. The verse above is displayed in our den right
beside our TV. I’ve put it there for two
reasons. First it is the primary focal
point of the room and my focal point needs to be God’s sovereignty over all
things. Second, it sits next to the TV
as a reminder that God is the final authority on whatever the world offers as
truth. Part of that truth is that I need
to let go and trust God.
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“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Whether alone or in a crowd, have you ever wondered where God is? Despite God reminding us throughout scripture that He is in fact with us and will never leave us, we still have our doubts. I’m not sure how it came about, but during a recent worship service I started thinking about the presence of God. If I had to guess, I would assume that Matthew 28:20 was one of the texts used in the sermon. In any event, I’ve been pondering our failure to recognize the presence of God in our lives. I don’t know about you but, I certainly have a tendency to take it for granted and, therefore, fail to recognize it or rely on it when I should. As I’ve considered this problem, there seem to be four primary reasons that we fail to recognize God’s presence in our lives: ignorance, immaturity, impediments and refusal.
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The greater your knowledge of the goodness and grace of God on your life, the more likely you are to praise Him in the storm.
Then the word of the Lord came to Zechariah
saying, “Thus has the Lord of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice
kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or
the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts
against one another.’ But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn
shoulder and stopped their ears from hearing. They made their hearts like flint so that they
could not hear the law and the words which the Lord of hosts had sent by His
Spirit through the former prophets; therefore great wrath came from the Lord of
hosts. Zechariah 7:8-12
If there is anything that my parents taught me, it was to
have a servant’s heart. I don’t recall
them ever doing it through instruction, but they certainly did it through
example. As a child I remember my mother
making lunches for drunks who came to the parsonage from the bar down the
street looking for a handout. Never did
she speak a disparaging word against them.
I remember one long night when a man came to our door drunk and my dad
spent the entire evening getting him sober.
In the coming weeks he and his family began attending church. In high school and college, I had the
opportunity to work with my mother in a small country hospital. As a nurse she had great compassion for her
patients and, if needed, advocated for them.
At that same hospital I also had opportunities to see my parents work in
tandem as Mom was meeting patients’ physical needs while Dad, as a chaplain, was
addressing their spiritual needs. Both
served in various ways without the need to be praised as their charity was an
outpouring of their faith.
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In the moral sphere, every act of justice or charity involves putting ourselves in the other person’s place and thus transcending our own competitive particularity.
To know wisdom and
instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in
wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the
naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise man will hear and increase
in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, to
understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their
riddles. The fear of the Lord is the
beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. Proverbs 1:2-7
Well the New Year has begun and as I discussed in the last post of December (“Joy Mixed with Sorrow”), the year is already shaping up with a mix of ups and downs. God has blessed me with new opportunities to serve Him, traveling mercies, daily provisions that meet spiritual and physical needs as well as celebrations with family. However, we have already had some stressful situations as well as being concerned with significant challenges facing family and friends. One concern is that we must decide what to do with our dog who has outbursts that prevent us from trusting her to be good-natured (if interested, see “Animal Instincts and Obedience School”) and present concerns for liability. I really love this dog, but she snarls and snaps for no apparent reason. Further, in the back of my mind is an upcoming visit to a new doctor. There is the hope that after 28 years of significant illness there might be an answer which helps manage my health issues more effectively. However, past history suggests that it is likely another vain attempt. The mantra that I apply to difficult situations and uncertainties is “God remains on His throne and is in control”. I don’t say that lightly as it reminds me of both where hope lies and that my experiences have ramifications beyond my finite ability to understand. As helpful as that is, I also need to work on how I react to the ups and downs of life. So as I progress through the year, my goal is to focus on four things: a soft heart, discernment, joy and gratitude.
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It is good to renew ourselves, from time to time, by closely examining the state of our souls, as if we had never done it before; for nothing tends more to the full assurance of faith, than to keep ourselves by this means in humility, and the exercise of all good works.
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength
of my heart and my portion forever.” Psalm 73:26.
I’m taking it easy this week. Due to the the holidays,
traveling and my normal responsibilities, my body, mind and soul need a
rest. Consequently, I thought I’d use the
opportunity to provide some personal background for this blog, and for those
who are unaware, share my passion. It’s
not my norm. My history tells me not to
trust, but my Lord says to be transparent to help others. Further, I prefer to focus on the positive to
keep me from dwelling on the negative. With
those disclaimers in place, let me open up a bit for you.
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