Let Go

Let Go: When I don't understand why, I trust Him because...God is enough.

Cease striving and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10a

Despite my chronic illness, I would be considered by many to still be high functioning and unless one knows me, they would be unlikely to recognize my limitations.  I have learned over time that when I yield to the needs of my body for rest and watch what I eat, I can function somewhat normally; that said I still struggle.   It’s a challenge not to worry about the cost of my illness both financially and as a source of stress to myself, my family and close friends.  I also struggle to maintain some sense of control; if I can’t fix my illness than I try to fix other things that don’t matter in the larger scale as they provide some sense of reassurance that things are ok.  I also struggle with my self-image.  Physically I want to appear normal yet not so normal that people think I’m a hypochondriac.  It’s a common struggle for those of us with invisible illnesses.  Further, I want to be relevant and useful, but feel that is regularly not the case.  The verse above is displayed in our den right beside our TV.  I’ve put it there for two reasons.  First it is the primary focal point of the room and my focal point needs to be God’s sovereignty over all things.  Second, it sits next to the TV as a reminder that God is the final authority on whatever the world offers as truth.  Part of that truth is that I need to let go and trust God. 

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God’s Presence

Sunrise with CS Lewis quote

“And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.”  Matthew 28:20

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”  Isaiah 41:10

Whether alone or in a crowd, have you ever wondered where God is?  Despite God reminding us throughout scripture that He is in fact with us and will never leave us, we still have our doubts.  I’m not sure how it came about, but during a recent worship service I started thinking about the presence of God.  If I had to guess, I would assume that Matthew 28:20 was one of the texts used in the sermon.  In any event, I’ve been pondering our failure to recognize the presence of God in our lives.  I don’t know about you but, I certainly have a tendency to take it for granted and, therefore, fail to recognize it or rely on it when I should.  As I’ve considered this problem, there seem to be four primary reasons that we fail to recognize God’s presence in our lives: ignorance, immaturity, impediments and refusal.

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Charity and Justice

Helping Hand

Then the word of the Lord came to Zechariah saying, “Thus has the Lord of hosts said, ‘Dispense true justice and practice kindness and compassion each to his brother; and do not oppress the widow or the orphan, the stranger or the poor; and do not devise evil in your hearts against one another.’ But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears from hearing.  They made their hearts like flint so that they could not hear the law and the words which the Lord of hosts had sent by His Spirit through the former prophets; therefore great wrath came from the Lord of hosts.  Zechariah 7:8-12

If there is anything that my parents taught me, it was to have a servant’s heart.  I don’t recall them ever doing it through instruction, but they certainly did it through example.  As a child I remember my mother making lunches for drunks who came to the parsonage from the bar down the street looking for a handout.  Never did she speak a disparaging word against them.  I remember one long night when a man came to our door drunk and my dad spent the entire evening getting him sober.  In the coming weeks he and his family began attending church.   In high school and college, I had the opportunity to work with my mother in a small country hospital.  As a nurse she had great compassion for her patients and, if needed, advocated for them.  At that same hospital I also had opportunities to see my parents work in tandem as Mom was meeting patients’ physical needs while Dad, as a chaplain, was addressing their spiritual needs.  Both served in various ways without the need to be praised as their charity was an outpouring of their faith. 

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Focus

Focusing in God's will

To know wisdom and instruction, to discern the sayings of understanding, to receive instruction in wise behavior, righteousness, justice and equity; to give prudence to the naive, to the youth knowledge and discretion, a wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, to understand a proverb and a figure, the words of the wise and their riddles.  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Proverbs 1:2-7

Well the New Year has begun and as I discussed in the last post of December (“Joy Mixed with Sorrow”), the year is already shaping up with a mix of ups and downs.  God has blessed me with new opportunities to serve Him, traveling mercies, daily provisions that meet spiritual and physical needs as well as celebrations with family.  However, we have already had some stressful situations as well as being concerned with significant challenges facing family and friends.  One concern is that we must decide what to do with our dog who has outbursts that prevent us from trusting her to be good-natured (if interested, see “Animal Instincts and Obedience School”) and present concerns for liability.  I really love this dog, but she snarls and snaps for no apparent reason.  Further, in the back of my mind is an upcoming visit to a new doctor.  There is the hope that after 28 years of significant illness there might be an answer which helps manage my health issues more effectively.  However, past history suggests that it is likely another vain attempt.   The mantra that I apply to difficult situations and uncertainties is “God remains on His throne and is in control”.  I don’t say that lightly as it reminds me of both where hope lies and that my experiences have ramifications beyond my finite ability to understand.  As helpful as that is, I also need to work on how I react to the ups and downs of life.  So as I progress through the year, my goal is to focus on four things: a soft heart, discernment, joy and gratitude.

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It is good to renew ourselves, from time to time, by closely examining the state of our souls, as if we had never done it before; for nothing tends more to the full assurance of faith, than to keep ourselves by this means in humility, and the exercise of all good works.

John Wesley
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A Bit of Background

Off The Cuff

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”  Psalm 73:26.

I’m taking it easy this week. Due to the the holidays, traveling and my normal responsibilities, my body, mind and soul need a rest.  Consequently, I thought I’d use the opportunity to provide some personal background for this blog, and for those who are unaware, share my passion.  It’s not my norm.  My history tells me not to trust, but my Lord says to be transparent to help others.  Further, I prefer to focus on the positive to keep me from dwelling on the negative.  With those disclaimers in place, let me open up a bit for you.

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