“For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb.  I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well.”  Psalm 139: 13-14

My wife and I like to go to museums.   Sometimes we stroll through them together while at other times, we separate.  One of the reasons we meander independently is because I am a “recovering perfectionist”.  We’ve often joked that I could not survive as a museum curator as I struggle to find the beauty and value in a statue, a piece of pottery or any other relic that is broken or marred…even if it is several thousand years old.  If left to me, they’d be in a rubbish bin.  My inability to look past the brokenness prevents me from appreciating the significance of something that has endured for so long.  However, God is using my illness to redirect my thought patterns in that regard.  When I first became ill, I begged God to take my life because I could not accept that my life with illness had purpose.  It was a dark time that my longsuffering wife and young daughters had to endure.  In addition to my debilitating pain, my lack of stamina has taken my career while the inability digest food and weariness make social events a mine field of difficulty.  Even my ability to worship has been hampered by the pain singing often provokes in my side.  However, as my illness is still mostly invisible, I can pass for “normal” and strangers are unaware of my weakened condition.   My friend Shelly cannot hide her affliction any longer.  Due to the progression of her illness, she now uses a motorized chair that allows her to elevate her legs.  Other aids are needed to complete routine tasks that most of us take for granted.  Recently she lost her singing voice…something that is dear to her and is yet another crushing blow.  Illness and aging take things from us.  They mar our appearance, take our talents and careers (or at least limit our ability to use them), impair our ability to enjoy social functions, isolate us and ultimately have a tendency to undermine our sense of worth.  It is yet another battle we must undertake to insert truth into our lives to counteract the negative feelings that we have about ourselves and our condition.  It usually comes down to two principle concerns: our attractiveness and strength i.e., our physical attributes and the usefulness that society or we place upon our existence.

First consider attractiveness and strength.  We all have the things we’d like to change about our appearance, even when we’re young.  Start aging and the list gets longer between graying and thinning hair, sagging muscles and flesh and the few extra pounds.  Then there are health issues.  Ailments can cause disfigurement, surgeries leave scars, inactivity leads to more weight gain and atrophy, and medications leave us losing more hair and getting puffy.  While we should take care of ourselves as best we can, allowing our self-image to be based primarily on physical attributes beyond our control is a recipe for emotional disaster.  The truth is that we were warned that our physical attractiveness wanes quickly and is really not so important.  Proverbs 31:30 tells us that “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting”.  If you think that verse is applies only to women, think again.  Go to any gym and see how many guys are checking the mirrors frequently.  However, if that isn’t convincing, consider Proverbs 20:29 which says “The glory of young men is their strength, and the honor of old men is their gray hair.”  In other words, our physical attractiveness and our strength won’t last forever.  In the event that you are now thoroughly depressed (and even if you aren’t), let’s look at the positive side of this discussion.  Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created in God’s image.  Understanding that God is perfect in every way, that’s a great start.  Next take a look at Samuel 16:7:  “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”  Peter explains further that our “adornment must…be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”  (1 Peter 3:3-4)  Paul adds “Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)  The sum of these parts is that we are beings fashioned by God, in the image of God, to be exactly as we are, whose true beauty comes from our soul.  Further, when we allow the attacks on our physical bodies and the trials of life to produce greater intimacy with God, our souls become more beautiful.  Not just to God but to those around us as we speak, care for and encourage them.

Our world measures usefulness based on earning potential and physical attractiveness.  A personification of this concept is a wealthy business man with a “trophy wife” or the perfect couple.  Yet as beauty and wealth are temporary, this world with its imperfect value system is also passing away and will be replaced with a flawless enduring one.  God promises a new heaven and a new earth and, as Christians, we’re called to focus on the eternal, for that is where we find true hope and our worth is established.  We understand from Ephesians 1:4 that God chose us in Christ “before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him.”  So before God created anything, He chose us as vessels without any defect through the redemptive work of Christ.  Once chosen, God fashioned us as described in Psalm 139 and planned out our lives.  This psalm describes how intimately He knows us and is involved in every part of our existence.   How much He must treasure us to be that involved and attentive.  In Matthew 6 and 10 we are compared to birds.  Specifically, we are told how God provides for them and is aware if one falls to the ground and that we are worth much more than any bird.  We are so loved by and valuable to God that in the ugliness of our sin, Christ died for us, made us a “new creature” and made us “alive in Christ”.  (Romans 5:8, 2 Corinthians 5:17, and Ephesians 2:4-9)  And in the end, “the Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”  (Psalm 147:11)  We have value because we are loved, chosen, redeemed, adopted, and bring delight to our Lord.

By God’s grace, illness and trials have altered my perception of attractiveness and usefulness.  Human perfectionism is waning and the eternal perspective is growing.  I have also gained a new perspective on Psalm 139.  I regularly quote “we are fearfully and wonderfully made”.  It is a statement that full of meaning with all connotations of those words.  I am both “in awe of” and “in terror of” how we are made.  In awe, because of the extreme meticulous intricacy with which we are created and truly fearful of how quickly and easily life can change and decline.  Yet God is teaching me that my hope is in Him and His perfect plan.  That hope is what allows me, again by grace, to reach out to others.  It is an act of gratitude toward God for the godly people He has brought into my life to minister to me.

In that light, I would like to conclude by returning to my friend Shelly.  Shelly and I have never met face to face.  We have chatted, texted and connected through social media.  Yet she has encouraged me greatly.  Before she knew me, she messaged me to offer kind words and prayers.  No doubt, by God’s leading; they were always on target for the current need.  As Paul describes, she is allowing her “momentary affliction” to produce “eternal weight”.  She is honest about her struggles, but because she allows them to drive her toward God, she is able to effectively reach out to others and provide reassurance. Not with empty repetition of overused “church phrases” or scripture passages, but rather words, scripture and songs that are carefully chosen with an understanding of the struggle.  I have seen several pictures of her over the past year including a wedding picture.  I contend that her most recent pictures provide a countenance that is much more radiant than her wedding picture for it reveals grace in the struggle and a smile of hope.  She has blessed many through RenewedDaily.com and her devotionals.  So in the end, she is one example of true beauty and worth.  And that is the point.  When we allow our pain to drive us to bond with God and become a conduit of His grace and hope, our true beauty and worth is not only seen by God, but is also revealed to those around us.  Then we can give thanks to our Lord that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”.