The Lord’s
lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your
faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23
As we study scripture, we learn about God. It is one thing
to intellectually understand God’s faithfulness, His promises, His character, the
sacrifice and intercession of Christ, the work of the Holy Spirit, etc.; however,
it is something altogether different to experience them. Knowing that Christ died for our sins does
not save us…it is accepting His atoning work on our behalf that provides
salvation. Similarly, knowing about God
intellectually does not develop a relationship with Him. Rather, it is through reliance on Him throughout
our life experiences, recognizing His work in our lives, and seeking to live
for Him alone that we develop a relationship.
It is experiencing God that takes us from an intellectual understanding
to a relationship that allows us to mature in faith. Further, when we acknowledge God at work in
our own lives, we provide edification and encouragement to others. To experience
God and not share that fact with fellow believers would be remiss. Consequently this week’s post is about
testifying to God’s faithfulness as an experience.
When Jesus came into
Peter’s home, He saw his mother-in-law lying sick in bed with a fever. He
touched her hand, and the fever left her; and she got up and waited on Him.
Matthew 8:14-15
This week celebrates the 93rd anniversary of my
mother’s birth; the 98th anniversary of my father’s birth; and the
the 73rd anniversary of their marriage. Yes, they packed it all neatly into one
week…with Mother’s Day thrown in for good measure regularly. As I take time to remember them and what they
meant to me, I am grateful for them and thankful that they pointed me to Christ
from the time I was born. Further, I am
grateful for what they taught me through example. A significant gift that they each exhibited
regularly was their servant’s heart which caused them to be helpful and
compassionate in a variety of circumstances.
It is a desire that was passed on to me.
As I prepare to make a lengthy drive to visit and help my mother-in-law,
I am reminded of the honor and privilege it that it was to help my parents and
my father-in-law at the end of their lives.
Now I have the opportunity to assist Ma as well. When we help others whether through acts of
service, encouragement, teaching or some other form, it is a blessing to both
parties.
Then, because so many
people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he
said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31
Going into this week I knew that it would be busy with obligations to family, friends and to you as readers. I’m also trying to get yard work done early so that I don’t get so far behind that I wear myself out trying to get it all done before I do some traveling or get so stressed that I inflict stress on my wife. In fact, I had so many tasks on my mind that I forgot that I was supposed to get my grandsons off of the bus Monday. (They were safe as their parents have great neighbors; their parents kindly extended gracious forgiveness to me.) There was no room in this week for allergies, a sinus infection, a cold or whatever I have come down with. I already struggle with my normal health concerns and I just don’t need another layer of illness, but there it is and I’ve been battling it for three days. Even worse, when I thought it was getting better, I decided to work in the garden for an hour or so. It was probably not the wisest choice as I have asthma and am allergic to dust, pollen and grass. The point is that I didn’t listen to my body and tried to do everything…now I’m falling short and this isn’t the post that I started working on.
Cast your burden upon
the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be
shaken. Psalm 55:22
As I was going into the groomer’s shop this week to pick up
our dog, our groomer was going to her car and looked at me but didn’t acknowledge
me. Later when she came back into the
shop, she apologized for making me wait and stated that she thought I was a
teenager using one of their parking spots and admitted that she was frustrated
that a non-customer might be using their allotted parking space. Given my age, salt and pepper hair, and a few
extra pounds, the thought of me looking more than 40 years younger was
laughable, but I took the “win”. In her
defense, I had on a hat, sun glasses and gym clothes making her quick glance
less than informative. Similar
misconceptions may arise for those of us with invisible illnesses. It can be challenging when people make
assumptions regarding our health based on how we look. When we make the effort to attend events and
do our best to look good, others often fail to understand how ill we are, how difficult
daily tasks can be, or how challenging it is for us to engage in social
activities. Those struggling with grief
or various trials may face some of the same challenges with respect to the
understanding or expectations of others as their struggle is not readily
visible. Even those with visible disorders
may be challenged by the expectations and assumptions of others if they strive
to present a strong demeanor. Consequently,
the phrase “you look good” can quickly crush our spirits. This was certainly true for me for many years
until I was shown a more biblical perspective that involves the impact of God’s
sustaining grace.
Jesus spoke these
things; and lifting up His eyes to heaven, He said, “Father, the hour has come;
glorify Your Son, that the Son may glorify You.
John 17:1
Once again
the celebration of Easter is upon us.
This often entails Palm Sunday, Good Friday and Easter services that
include special choral numbers and solos. While I have participated in the past, appreciate
the artistry, and do not doubt the faith or the worship of those involved, I’m
not a fan of those services. I much
prefer more quiet times of worship that offer opportunities of introspection, a
greater understanding the sacrifice of our Savior and of God, or a call to draw
near to God in unified worship. It’s not
that I am opposed to celebrating Easter, it’s just that I prefer to do it by focusing
on the need for salvation, the reconciliation that Christ’s sacrifice provides,
the broader scope of redemption, and the glory of God.
Our soul waits for the
Lord; He is our help and our shield. For
our heart rejoices in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let Your lovingkindness, O Lord, be upon us,
according as we have hoped in You. Psalm 33:20-22
When Marie
and I first moved to Chattanooga, we lived on Lookout Mountain. With respect to the greater area, it was
known as the place where “old money” lived; that is, those with established
wealth resided there. While not everyone
was wealthy, there were plenty of large houses and mansions as well as
expensive cars. Consequently, when we
purchased a home, we chose to move into the valley which not only allowed us to
purchase a better home for less money, but also made it easier to be content
with what God had provided for us.
While I recognized at that time that coveting and the resulting lack of
contentment were weaknesses of mine, God has used the various trials of life, especially
my illness, to teach me about contentment and that it is, in fact, a
choice. When it comes to that choice,
there are three options that can cause us to readily abandon contentment:
entitlement, anger, and worry.
But now, O LORD, You
are our Father, We are the clay, and You our potter; And all of us are the work
of Your hand. Isaiah 64:8
As I write, facilitate support groups, council, and discuss
my own situation, the subject of God’s work to refine, shape and equip is always
a significant topic. While I certainly
don’t enjoy the pain and suffering associated with my health issues or the
negative impacts of them on my family members, I rejoice in what I have endured
due to the changes that they have brought in my life…especially my spiritual
life. Whether it is physical, spiritual
or mental pain, I know that God is at work refining me and perfecting
me…especially when I choose to cooperate with the process rather than fighting
it. I rejoice because God desires that I
be more like Christ and adequately equipped for each task that He has planned
for me. God in His love and mercy is
continually at work to mold me into the man that He envisioned before
time. (Ephesians 1:4) I also trust that He is doing the same for
you.
A soothing tongue is a tree of life, but perversion in it crushes the spirit. Proverbs 15:4
One Sunday evening while in college, I was walking to church
from my dorm. It was a short distance,
but early on I met up with an older lady attending the same service. As we walked, she made a statement that
judgmental and uninformed which has frustrated me all these years. Her comment left me in an awful position: to
agree with her was to insult my mother and to disagree was to insult my
father. Those words crushed my spirit
and still raise a fair amount of ire every time I think about them. In contrast, the words of my dear friend
Rosemary were always soothing…even in her reprimands. She consistently knew how I was feeling
without asking. If she thought I wasn’t
taking care of myself properly, I was scolded.
Not giving her a hug right away also elicited a gentle rebuke. One thing was certain; at some point in our
conversation she would tell me she loved me.
The statement was regularly followed with “I mean that” in a tone of
certainty that only someone from Eastern Ohio/Western Pennsylvania could
produce. Rosemary has gone to her
eternal reward and her presence is missed every time I enter the sanctuary
because she was such a blessing to me.
What these two examples reflect is that our words have great potential
to harm or the sooth.
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
Rash words have significant and uncontrollable
consequences. By definition, they are
not soothing, but rather wounding.
Consider again, my first example.
The words cut deeply into my soul; they angered me; and they left a
memory that recurs uninvited inflicting the damage anew over and over again. Consequently the harm has been long
lasting. Those words have also impacted
everyone with whom I engage. Her words as
well as the rash words of others in the Christian community have left a mark
that has caused me to be very cautious.
Consequently, I am much more guarded with Christians than non-Christians
as experience has taught me that I am treated with greater respect, acceptance,
grace and kindness by those outside the church.
Thankfully, the consistent and determined soothing words of Rosemary
(and others like her) have had a healing effect and allow me to remain hopeful
of healthy relationships within the church family.
When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. Proverbs 10:19
There are times when the soothing tongue is the silent
tongue. 2 Corinthians 12:20 and other
passages like it instruct us to refrain from gossiping or associating with
those who do. More specifically,
Proverbs 10:17 tells us that we foster love when we conceal a
transgression. Whether it is a
transgression that we need to forgive or one that requires us to quietly speak
the truth with grace to correct them, the matter should not be discussed with
others. Finally, no matter how
innocently intended, we need to be careful when we share “news” about others as
there are many ways that we may do harm.
We may inadvertently: break a confidence; add commentary that may or may
not be entirely truthful; dredge up old wounds; rekindle strife or quarrels; or
become divisive. To drive the point
home, Proverbs 21:23 reminds us that when we guard our mouth and our tongue, we
not only protect others, but we protect our own souls from troubles. To live and love well is to judiciously limit
what we say to and about others.
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Out of curiosity, I quickly did a search to see if anyone
had determined how many soothing comments that it takes to overcome an unkind
comment. One article in a Christian publication
stated that a minimum it was 2:1.
However, in marriage, some felt that it was likely 5:1. Another study quoted in “Harvard Business
Review” looked at work groups. They
found that business units with medium effectiveness had 1.9 (almost 2:1)
positive comments for every criticism.
However, in highly effective units, the ratio was 5.6:1…almost six
positive comments to offset each critical one.
These articles were older than I would have liked, but make the point
that criticism does damage and we don’t get over it easily. Knowing this better than we do, God
repeatedly instructs us to guard what we say and to encourage one another. While it’s a good starting point, an apology
alone will not overcome a thoughtless word.
Consequently, it is much better to guard our tongues and speak soothing
words of encouragement rather than make destructive comments.
Looking forward
I don’t like recalling past hurts as they have great
potential to stir up much angst that has little relevance now. The only value that they really have is to
remind me to diligently guard my own comments to others. While I have been harmed by more than one
unkind comment, I shudder to think how many I’ve made inadvertently or in the
heat of a disagreement. For the pain
inflicted on me, I must truly forgive just as I must seek forgiveness for the
hurt I have caused. Thankfully, the
example set for me by Rosemary and others like her point me in the right
direction.
May God grant us all the maturity and godly direction to
guard our words well so that they are a soothing balm and encouragement
others. When we are harmed by the words of another,
may we find solace in the soothing words and promises of our Lord and Savior
Jesus Christ.
Be ready to do whatever
is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be
gentle toward everyone.
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Reading God’s Word and meditating on its truth will have a purifying effect upon your mind and heart, and will be demonstrated in your life. Let nothing take the place of this daily privilege.
