Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
As we make final preparations for our daughter Adrienne’s wedding this weekend, one of my main concerns is the father daughter dance. As much as I love to dance, I prefer to avoid the spotlight as I struggle to remember all of the steps and provide the proper leads while also trying to maintain the proper form. It is not just a matter of looking good, but also, in some cases, a matter of personal safety. The picture above is of Christine and me at her wedding nine years ago. By the grace of God, Marie and I have had the privilege of parenting our two daughters who have grown into lovely women. As such, these two dances signify transition in that my role as their father takes a back seat to their new life with their respective husbands. That said, as their father, they still trust that they can come to me with anything knowing that I will do my best to help them. In that regard they place much trust in me. However, as much as I desire to help them, I cannot provide the assurance that their Heavenly Father can. Most of what follows has been published before but is a favorite of mine and has much to do with the title of this blog site.
My wife and I like to dance. Considering all of the choices, the waltz is our preferred dance. I’m not talking about the basic box step, but rather moving down the line of dance with whisks, weaves, turns, etc. When a couple is dancing, the male leads. It is his responsibility to employ good technique to move the couple around the dance floor and to lead his partner in the various moves. It is up to the woman to follow. Well done, it is very beautiful and graceful. Poorly executed, it looks clumsy and can be somewhat dangerous. When I contemplate my relationship with God, I often compare it to the waltz. We as the body of believers are the bride of Christ and our lives are like trip around the dance floor with various twist and turns. Our role, not only jointly as the body of believers, but also as individuals, is to dance with our Lord and follow His direction. It is a matter of trust. While there are various dancing techniques that need to be mastered, let’s just consider four basic factors for this analogy: the hold, the gaze, following and missteps.
The hold and the related form with which one dances is a key element to a beautiful waltz. It makes the steps work because it affords the connection between the partners which allows them to glide together through the perils of the dance floor…yes there are perils. The man provides a frame for the woman to step into. A weak frame creates confusion while a rigid grip makes it difficult for the woman to move properly and comfortably. The perfect hold provides enough tone for direction and confidence with enough give to allow movement. God has given us the truth of His law and the instruction of His word as a firm foundation. It provides the frame for us to step into with confidence and lends the proper tone for communication. His grace and love provide the necessary space and flexibility so that we can move as we ought. As Isaiah 42:16 put it: “I am the Lord, I have called You in righteousness, I will also hold You by the hand and watch over You.” While this was spoken to the Israelites, it is also what God does for us. He provides the spiritual framework into which we can step and settle back into his hold as His children. There we can thrive, move and do His bidding. We move confidently, because He holds us and watches over us. We move easily because of our freedom in Christ. Viewing God in this way is keystone for our trust in Him.
Our gaze or where we look is very important. In general but with some exceptions, the woman looks over the man’s right shoulder. Therefore, for most of the dance she cannot see where the couple is headed. It’s a bit counterintuitive. She also should not look at her feet for it ruins the form which makes movement awkward. Looking at the man directly can create balance issues. This is the point where my analogy breaks down a bit as scripture tells us to look to God or as Hebrews 12:2 put it “fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith.” I am certainly not disputing that point so bear with me as I would like to consider a different nuance. Focusing on the wrong thing(s) inhibits our ability to follow God’s direction. When a woman holds her gaze in the proper way, it keeps her body in alignment, makes turning more efficient and prevents her from tripping. A common beginner’s error is to look at the feet, which makes dancing incredibly difficult on many levels. For the sake of this discussion, it’s like obsessing on the difficulties of life. Yes they are there and yes they are frustrating, but obsession reflects a lack of trust in our God, our Savior and our Comforter. When we obsess, we can’t move. We can’t move through the circumstance, we can’t grow in grace and we can’t be a witness. Obsession leaves us stuck in a rut. However, when we trust God and put our hope in Him, we allow Him to comfort us, teach us and move us through the circumstance and have a witness. Whether it is a trial or a sin, we must trust God to move us through it. As Psalms 43, 51 and others show us, the end result is the ability to teach others, testify to God’s goodness and to praise God. The other error is inappropriately looking down the line of dance. I am a fallible man. My floor craft (efficiently and safely moving through traffic on the dance floor) is not perfect. Further, my wife knows that on a familiar dance floor, I will often close my eyes for a period of time. It creates a reason to be concerned and occasionally look to make sure that her safety is not compromised. However, God is perfect and perfectly skilled to handle every event in our lives. Further, He knows the plan and where we are going and doesn’t need to provide all of the details. Our refusal to move until fully informed is like a woman looking down the line of dance when she should not. It’s a lack of trust that again will throw us off balance or cause us to fall. However, when we do trust God, we allow ourselves to be led in the right course.
Following that lead is imperative to successfully executing any dance and is a matter of training, trust and submission. While a new dancer may verbally communicate what move he is attempting to lead, a practiced dancer communicates through hand movement, muscle tone, and body position. If a lead is weak, indecisive, poorly executed or ill-timed it may cause his partner to misread the direction and do something completely contrary to what was intended. Thankfully that is not the case with God. His lead is perfect and accurately timed. Blunders occur not because God did not send the appropriate signal or failed to give explicit information, but rather as a result of our error. We know that we will not be perfected in this life, but we are expected to hone our spiritual skills. We know from 2 Timothy 3:16-17 that: “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.” Diligently studying God’s word provides the instruction we need. Employing God’s principals as the need arises gives us experience and growth. Loving guidance from other Christians rounds out our training. As we see the application of God’s direction bearing fruit, our trust and confidence in Him increases. That leaves submission of our will. There is nothing worse than dancing with a woman who refuses to follow your lead. It’s a tug-of-war that makes moving a battle of wills that totally lacks beauty and grace. We know that God doesn’t appreciate it either. In fact it is the ultimate lack of trust and the reason Christ had to die on the cross. Our willfulness and lack of trust regularly get us into trouble; scripture is rife with examples given to us for our instruction. However, by trusting and submitting to our Father’s will, we are freed from the ill effects of our failures and rewarded with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness in this life and a place with God for eternity. Submitting our will to His is actively putting our hope in His promises like the one given in Psalm 139:10 which confidently states “Even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me.” When we have a close connection with Him (settled into His perfect hold) and have an appropriate focus, we are better served to receive His instruction and follow his direction.
One of the safety nets in a waltz is the closed hold. On rare occasions, my wife has stumbled and the close proximity allowed me to catch her before she fell to the floor and was seriously injured. Further, it is not uncommon to misstep for a variety of reasons. A good dancer can recover quickly and keep moving. Inevitably we will falter in our walk and misstep. It may be inadvertent or willful, but whether we lose our balance, trip or fall, God will catch us. How we respond determines how quickly and gracefully we get back in step. In that light consider the following passages.
“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
“If I should say, “My foot has slipped,” Your lovingkindness, O Lord, will hold me up. When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul.” Psalm 94:18-19
“The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.” Psalm 37:23-24
“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
“Behold, God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid; for the Lord God is my strength and song, and He has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2
God is faithful to His promises. Trust Him to hold you, lead you, protect you and sustain you. It may not be easy or comfortable, but it will be blessed, provide a testimony to God’s faithfulness and lead to an eternity in His presence.
As I approach this weekend, I am quite thankful. In the early years of my illness, I did not believe that I would live to see either of my daughters marry let alone both so I am thankful for the privilege of sharing these moments with them. I am thankful for my wife who has remained by my side through the ups and downs of our own marriage not the least of which has been my illness. I am thankful for the friends and family that we will share this time with. However, I am most thankful for the way God has turned my mourning into dancing. He has and continues to teach me to trust Him. He has held me and sustained me in my illness. He has used the challenges that it presents to teach me to keep my focus on eternal matters rather than focusing on the trials and pains of this life. God has demonstrated that when I follow His lead in the framework of His precepts, even the worst circumstances in life can be redeemed by Him and used to prepare me to serve Him in new ways. Through the sacrifice of our Savior, He has faithfully forgiven my doubts, sins and failures. Finally, I am thankful that God has shown me that salvation is not principally about escaping hell or religion, but rather a relationship with Him and enjoyment of Him in this life and the next. To the only God our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever.