Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.  Ephesians 4:29

Idioms, colloquialisms, and slang are common in our speech and rather confusing for those trying to learn a language.  I am guilty of using all three. Having lived in or traveled frequently to different parts of the country, it is possible for me to mix phrases from various regions in the same sentence…adding to the confusion.  This became quite evident when I worked with a young woman from South America.  She had just immigrated to the United States and while her command of English was good, she had not yet had much exposure to the variety of idioms, colloquialisms, etc.  When combined with accents and cultural differences, conversations between us were sometimes laborious.  I would later learn that for the first two years, she thought I was being critical when I was trying to reassure her because of the different views our respective cultures had on the use of a certain phrase.  Fortunately, she was living with an older couple who regularly reminded her that in the U.S., the phrase was a form of encouragement.  I still felt awful about the miscommunication and certainly would have chosen different words had I known of the stress it was causing her.  Therein lies one of the issues with speech: miscommunication.  As ambassadors for Christ we’re called to guard our speech and “unwholesome words” can take a variety of forms.  There are many idioms used regularly in our culture.  From a Christian perspective some are benign, some require care when using them, and still others communicate ideas contrary to scripture.  Here are a few to consider.

Certainly many of the idioms that we use are truly harmless.  When I hear “you can’t judge a book by its cover”, I can’t help but think of God leading Samuel to anoint David as king.  While Samuel was considering the physical attributes of David’s brothers, God was looking at their hearts.  Phrases such as:  “hot potato”; “penny for your thoughts”; “don’t put all of your eggs in one basket”; “there’s method to my madness”; or “see eye to eye” may confuse those who aren’t familiar with them. However, they are wholesome, their meaning is a useful form of communication and they pose no threat to our integrity.

Some idioms require care in how we handle them if our speech is to be edifying.  Sometimes the concern is in the choice of phrase.  Often, the issue is knowing your audience well enough to discern what they will understand.  Occasionally the problem is that we may inadvertently send a mixed message.  Two that I would put in the category of “requiring care” are “carpe diem” (or “seize the day”) and “actions speak louder than words”.  “Carpe Diem” is one that I’ve seen used in both Christian and secular circles.  The meaning is: to make the most of the present time and give little thought to the future.  There is that sense in which we are to make the most of today in spreading the gospel or to make the best use of opportunities that we are given.  Further we are not to worry about the future.  However, we are also aware that our actions both good and bad have an impact with respect to eternity so, in that light, we are to be concerned about the future.  In the secular world, the phrase is often used to encourage some form of hedonism and is, therefore, contrary to godly living.  In this case there is a challenge in both the meaning intended and the audience spoken to.  The phrase could certainly be confusing a mixed crowd or when speaking to young Christians who are being bombarded with cultural norms trying to pull them away from their faith.  Saying that “actions speak louder than words” has its issues as well and is a phrase that I’m using less and less.  There certainly is some truth in the statement and we’re reminded in the second chapter of James that our works are an indicator of our faith.  However, sometimes we don’t have all of the facts.  Those of us with chronic illness (especially invisible ones) face this dilemma regularly.  There are times when our health prevents us from acting.  It’s not a lack of desire or faith, but merely that our bodies are unable.  Further there are times when we must pick and choose.  Is it more important for a father to work and provide for his family or to show up at the church work day…is it more important for a mother to care for her child and get them to bible school or to teach?  Lack of involvement does not always equate to lack of faith.  When there is a close relationship and true knowledge, there may be an opportunity to call a brother or sister aside and instruct them, however, in many, if not in most cases, we should be willing to trust, hope and extend grace just as we would have done for us or in other words, give them the benefit of the doubt.

Finally there are the idioms that should raise red flags.  A sentence starting with “Pardon my French” probably ought not to be continued as it is most likely less than edifying.   Another is “the long arm of coincidence” or merely speaking in terms of coincidence.  Our God is orderly and carefully plans and weaves our lives together.  Most people are quite familiar with Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 16:9 and Psalm 139:16, but my favorite verse for this is Proverbs 16:33: “The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.”  If God is so careful about the roll of the dice, how much more so is He about the events of our lives and our interactions with others?  One idiom that causes me great consternation is “it’s better than the alternative” coming from a Christian.  In other words, aging or being alive on earth is better than death.  If we truly believe what scripture has to say about eternity, if we believe that our reward as Christians is receiving Christ’s righteousness and abiding with God forever with perfected bodies free from sin, disease and death, how can we even consider this life to be the better alternative?  Rather, we should have the mind of Paul that “to live is Christ and to die is gain”.  As long as we live, we live to serve our God and when He chooses to bring us to Himself for eternity we should be grateful.  John Calvin said it this way: “Let us consider this settled, that no one has made progress in the school of Christ who does not joyfully await the day of death and final resurrection.”  If we love this life more than abiding with God for eternity, we have missed the whole point of the gospel.

My coworker was a joy to work with and over time our issues with communication dissipated. She became a great friend and sister in Christ.  Life changes have kept us from regular communication, but the bond remains.  The idioms that we use should, like all words, be chosen carefully so that they are wholesome, convey what we truly mean and be consistent with our faith.  It can be the difference between encouraging and discouraging others in their faith.  David gives us a good example in Psalm 19:14 when he prays: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.”  Let that be our attitude as well so that we provide grace to those that hear what we say.

Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Will