Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.  Proverbs 13:12

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life.  Proverbs 13:12

Have you ever felt hopeless?  As the passage above says, hopelessness makes the heart sick and the world becomes a very dark place.  When I first became ill, that was very true in my life.  The pain I was enduring was relentless and creating a sense of fear and dread in our family.  The anxiety and uncertainty that it produced were intolerable.  If that wasn’t enough, I couldn’t reconcile God’s love with my illness.  I certainly didn’t see how any part of it could be working to my good, or to God’s glory.  Further, the Christians in my life at the time focused on my physical wellbeing, but never asked about my soul and did not attempt to present God’s spiritual truths that might apply.  As a result, I greatly desired my death.  Honestly, I desired it more for my wife and children than for myself.  As much as I wanted the pain and frustration to stop, I was most concerned about the damage that my illness and my inability to handle it were doing to them.  Daily I begged God to end my life.  In short, I was hopeless and my hopelessness was creating an adverse atmosphere in our home.  Thankfully it did not end there.  Eventually I learned to manage my illness somewhat, we became part of a church body that sought God’s will in all things and surrounded us with those who encouraged us in our faith, and the passage of time gave me the confidence that I could make peace with my circumstances.  However, the greatest change came when the word of God and the impact of Christians seeking to encourage me on a spiritual level invaded my illness and helped me to see that God had purpose in my pain and that it truly would work for my good and, more importantly, for the glory of God.  While I still struggle with the frustrations that come with living in a fallen world, it is the contrast between those dark days and the change that came with truth of scripture and the promises of God that keeps me going, points me to God and gives me hope.  One of the things that we celebrate as a part of the Christmas season is the hope that we have…hope in our God, hope in the salvation the Christ provides, and the hope of eternity.

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