I just returned home from a week in New England visiting my mother-in-law and doing some work for her. I took Monday afternoon to visit Rockport…a place that my wife and I have enjoyed for many years. It was a beautiful day and, because it was mid-week during the off season, it was not overcrowded.
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I love music. One of my first memories is being cradled by my father as he sang me to sleep…something I would later do with my own children and occasionally with my grandchildren. Music energizes me. It helps me refocus when my thoughts start spiraling out of control. Aside from God’s handiwork that has brought to my knees in worship, few things stir my soul like great music. In that light, I’d like focus my discussion around “When My Heart is Torn Asunder” by Phil Wickham. It is a song that has blessed me on many occasions.
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Last week was an interesting week. First, I met with a new GI doctor who is clearly the first specialist to look at my medical history in total rather than just his area of expertise. The result is that he feels that the diagnosis that has governed my care for the last 23 years is probably inaccurate. In short, it is too myopic and does not consider that there is possibly an underlying problem that ties my various health issues together. While I should be ecstatic that he cares enough to take a fresh look at things, it is unsettling to go back to the world of “undiagnosed” and start the diagnostic process over.
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God knows us and how forgetful we can be.
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I find it interesting that Philippians, Titus, James, 2 Peter, Jude and Revelation all begin with a description of the writer as a bond-servant of God. Culturally, the concept of servitude is undesirable. We are told that independence, self-service and personal comfort should rule our perspective. Yet this is not God’s design for civilization.
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This morning one of the devotionals I read was about God the Father’s joy in Christ as both the Lion of Judah and the Lamb of God. Later as I was working around our house, my IPod shuffled to “Come Unto to Me” (by Nicole C. Mullen) which is a favorite of mine. Consequently, throughout the day I pondered these two images of Christ and what they mean for us as Christians. On the one hand, we have the powerful conquering Lion while on the other we have the meek, yet perfect Lamb of God.
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Today was one of those days. I woke up defeated and just didn’t feel like fighting anymore. My body was tired, my soul was frustrated and my mind kept waffling between moving forward and giving up. Additionally I had a medical test that required an hour and a half of driving and two hours for the test…I had a migraine and other tasks I preferred to spend my energy on. Needless to say, getting ready took effort (not the least of which was the mental hurdle) and when I got to the door of our house I just didn’t want to open it.
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Like this one, the previous three posts have been on acceptance…specifically on acceptance of God’s plan for us as individuals. When we study the concept of acceptance, our concerned is usually a particular circumstance. We tend to lean in that direction because it is easier to deal with things separately and the more monumental issues tend to come one at a time. However, the truth is that we rarely deal with one any trial in a vacuum.
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