“Evil plans are an abomination to the Lord, but pleasant words are pure.” Proverbs 15:26
I recently spent a couple of weeks with my mother-in-law. As she likes to listen to the news a lot, I heard just about every broadcast regarding the Judge Kavanaugh hearings. Our culture seems to have lost the concept that people are innocent until proven guilty. As I listened, to the newscasts, I was struck by the fact that I was listening to them in Danvers, Massachusetts. For those who are unaware or need a refresher, Danvers was originally Salem Village. In the late 1600’s the town held witch trials that resulted in the death of 25 people…19 were hung and another six died in custody. (One of the victims was Rebecca Nurse whose house is shown above. See also Britannica.com) The trials started due to the behaviors of some girls that could not be explained medically and were, therefore, assumed to be satanic. Lack of information, bad assumptions, and false accusations led to a tragic end. The words of the girls and others involved led to the abominable deaths of innocent parties. Contrary to the poem many of us learned in grade school, words have the power to harm and destroy; they also have the power to heal and encourage. That’s why our use of words is so important.
Malicious Words
“A worthless man digs up evil, while his words are like scorching fire.” Proverbs 16:27
Malicious words come in many forms. Like the example above, extreme cases involve speech meant to do harm either through plots like that of Haman in the book of Esther or accuse as David describes in Psalm 109. Possibly less intentional but just as destructive are broken confidences, gossiping or sharing the sins of another…at times, under the guise of prayer requests. Another concern involves the spoken judgments made relying on assumptions rather than facts. Finally, there are statements made without thinking that inadvertently inflict pain even. Some of these may have been intended to encourage, but failed due to lack of forethought. Since we are all fairly well acquainted with the various forms of destructive words, I won’t belabor the point. As children of the light, we commanded to avoid harmful and destructive words as they are like a scorching fire.
Pleasant Words
“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
How true this verse is. Just as harsh words destroy, kind words truly heal the soul. Certainly encouragement from a close friend or relative is a blessing and strengthens the bond. In a different way, those of a caring stranger can be just as helpful. A simple acknowledgment that one seems to be having a tough day or that they have not let their trials diminish their countenance can provide just enough momentum to finish the day well. At the appropriate time, the encouragement of a brother or sister in Christ to focus on the eternal rather than the temporal is also blessing. To be sure, applicable scripture offered in a time of need would fit into this category. The kind words of those who have or are currently enduring similar trials as our own are especially helpful since there is a true understanding of the complexities. Certainly, prayers offered on our behalf also heal the soul. Finally, what a blessing it is when we expect malicious words to come our way and, instead, receive kind words of encouragement and empathy as they move us from feelings of weakness and fear to a peaceful state of mind. All of these are sweet to the soul and bring healing to our hearts and minds.
The Challenges
“Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips.” Psalm 141:3
Different circumstances call for different responses and, therefore, present various challenges. When it comes to gossip, a lack of information/assumptions, or improper time and place, silence is the best option. In those cases, we do well to invoke the prayer of Psalm 141:3. Another time to be silent is when we’ve been harmed by another and our words would be retaliatory. If words are necessary to end a matter or to set boundaries it is important to choose our words very carefully. In either case, we must also be willing to forgive as we have been forgiven. Holding a grudge benefits no one. When seeking to encourage, especially in dire circumstances, we would do well to stop and pray for the right words prior to opening our mouths. While this is a good habit for all situations, it is especially needed when speaking to those who are hurting or vulnerable. Another difficult instance is when confronting a brother or sister in Christ regarding a sinful behavior as the goal is to restore not to condemn. Finally, when we are ill, taking medication that may impair our judgment or find ourselves in exceedingly trying circumstances, we need to be sensitive to our limitations. Thankfully, we have the help of the Holy Spirit to guide us through all of these challenges…we simply need to ask for help.
Living Well
“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” Ephesians 4:29
Several passages in scripture remind us to guard our speech as our tongues can be difficult to control. Consequently, it is important to carefully consider the circumstances and our words before we speak so that we graciously edify and encourage those we address. When we teach, encourage, forgive, and lovingly correct our brothers and sisters in faith, we bring healing and unity to the body of Christ. When we do so with those who do not know the Lord, we proclaim Christ and act as His faithful ambassadors. This is who we are called to be and what we are called to do.
Regrettably, I am all too familiar with both the pain and the challenges of harmful words. My life experiences have made it difficult to trust, too many times I have failed to forgive and I am guilty of injury. I cannot change the past but can seek to choose my words more carefully in the future and to be forgiving. Thankfully God is at work to that end. I am learning to forgive those that I thought impossible to forgive. This past weekend served as further evidence of God at work. Marie and I attended our college class reunion. In addition to the usual “catching up” and joking around, those who had time to talk at length, had a chance to go deeper. Words shared during those times were as my dear friend put it: “therapeutic and healing”. It was a time of sweet communion, healing and renewal for several of us. It was further affirmation that God’s word is true and that He is at work in the lives of His children.
Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
Will