So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Colossians 3:12-14
Within the past couple of weeks there have been quite a few conversations to make plans for Thanksgiving. While the menu hasn’t varied too much from year to year, the people with whom we share the meal have varied greatly. Naturally, the core group has always been our immediate family. However, many years have regularly included extended family, friends and acquaintances. As I consider those with whom I have celebrated this holiday, I am reminded that I am most thankful for the people that God has chosen to weave in and out of my life. Their roles, the length of time in my life and the affection for them has varied greatly, but they have all had a purpose. As the saying reminds us, some people are a blessing while others are a lesson.
The Basics
How we perceive our relationships has much to do with their nature, depth and length. The nature of and the associated expectations for any relationship not only have a major impact on our perception of its benefit, but also often determine the depth and length of the relationship. Culturally, we expect that family relationships will be long lasting blessings. By contrast we don’t expect much to come of the relationship with a bank teller, barista or sales clerk. As a rule, relationships with friends, fellow Christians and coworkers fall somewhere in the middle, however, that cannot be assumed. Similarly, we anticipate the depth of the relationship to correlate with length, i.e. the longer a relationship lasts, the more depth there is to it. Conversely, relationships may end because no depth develops. However, in this regard, I speak culturally and in human terms as God is capable of great things and is not bound by cultural norms.
The Blessings
Relationships that result in a blessing are those that include love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness. Sometimes we are called to extend them to others without reciprocation; at other times, the reverse is true. However, the most blessed relationships are those that are long lasting and have great depth as these elements have been provided lavishly by both parties over time. It is a reward in this life for obeying our Lord’s command to love as He has loved us. When the foundation of the bond is faith in God, an additional benefit is the hope of future blessings as the relationship continues into eternity.
The Lessons
Whether in our families, the workplace or elsewhere, we have all had to deal with those that do not exhibit the fruits of the Spirit. Their lessons for us are threefold. First, our initial reaction may teach us much about ourselves. If we are treated poorly and respond in kind, we know that we have much to learn about being loving and forgiving, let alone compassionate, kind, humble gentle or patient. Second, every encounter of this nature is an opportunity to be refined. Having recognized our own weaknesses, we do well to approach those situations understanding that they are both an opportunity for us to grow in grace and to become better ambassadors of Christ as we extend His kindness to those who may be challenging or perceived to be unworthy. Finally, every disagreeable encounter gives us an opportunity to more fully appreciate the love of Christ and His sacrifice for us.
The Calling
Scripture certainly describes situations that require us to set boundaries or end a relationship. Further, we know from God’s word that we may have friends who will be closer to us and provide greater encouragement than our family members. However, the greater emphasis in of scripture in this regard is focused on our need to extend grace in the form of love, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience and forgiveness. The call is to make these attributes a part of our character so that we proclaim Christ and strengthen the body of Christ. By loving well in all circumstances, we share the love of Christ and reinforce our words with our behavior.
Thankfulness
We naturally recognize and are thankful for those people in our lives who have been a blessing to us no matter how great or small. However, we do well to remember that those who are “the lessons” are also a blessing as they are a part of our sanctification process and an opportunity to share God’s love. Just as our trials and infirmities are refining us, so too are the disagreeable people that we encounter when we strive to live for Christ being open to God’s instruction and refinement.
I can honestly say that those who will sit around our table on Thanksgiving are all a blessing to me. I am truly grateful for each them. I am equally grateful for all of the other people God has used to love and encourage me. However, I when expressing my gratitude to God, I include thanksgiving for all those that God has brought into my life as they help to complete His work in me either through love and encouragement or threw teaching moments. I pray that your celebration will also be with those who are a blessing to you and that the fruits of the spirit will be plentiful.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Will